Day 34 - February 3

Ciaran was six months seizure-free.  I think both Cris and I were hopeful that his seizures were behind us - that he grew out of them like some children do.  Well this morning we were reminded again of how much seizures suck!!!  Coming out of his sleep this morning, Ciaran's brain was seizing - it was milder than it has been in the past - as he was responsive to our questions.  We tried to ride it out as the medication to suppress the seizures is so strong that it knocks him out of commission for a few days - we too thought we would be successful at riding it out - but no such luck - it persisted and we were forced to give him Diastat.

Seizures are scary.  In Ciaran's case, he is most likely to experience one going into or coming out of sleep - something to do with O2 and CO2 levels in the brain.  What is scary, is that a seizure can happen behind a closed door - the last three incidences of seizures all happened in the early morning - we don't know how long for sure they were going on for before we found him in this state.  Very, very scary!

In some ways the brain is a beautiful and resilient thing.  Over the years I have become fascinated with the plasticity of the brain and its amazing way of repairing itself through rewiring.  In other ways, I have been frustrated with the mere complexity of it all and the lasting and damaging effects that being born preterm has/will have on future life outcomes for the boys.

I continue to choose to focus on the positives - Ciaran and Shay and their brains have come a long, long way over the have many of their preterm friends.  Each and everyone one of us lives with some things in their life that we cannot control, and at the end of the day, all we can do is smile, try, trudge on, keep our chin up and be thankful for what is - because at the end of the day, we have sooooo much to be thankful for!

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