I sit here tonight with tears in my eyes as I look at my first born son in my hospital room with me for the very first time. There are no monitors, no alarms going off, no nurses...for the very first time since this long road began, Cris and I have Ciaran 100% to ourselves. I cannot explain in words how amazing this long awaited moment feels...no words could ever adequately express how I am feeling...the only thing that could surpass what I am feeling now is when Shay joins Ciaran, Cris and I, and we are able to go home...I realize that this scenario too will become a reality very soon.
So...here I sit with my little miracle, my determined fighter, my sweet, sweet Ciaran. I again am provided with an opportunity to realize that I am a mom, that my boys are really coming home with me - this is something that I never fully accepted in the past three months - likely as a coping mechanism to deal with my fear.
I feel an overwhelming amount of thanks tonight - I am so thankful for life. Never again will I forget how very precious life is and how important it is to honour this fact day in and day out. I am so thankful that I finally have the opportunity to be a mother - this is something that I have longed for, for as long as I remember. I am thankful for Cris - he truly as been my rock throughout this journey - having children has really made me aware of my vunerabilites and being vunerable is a scary thing! Thank you to all of you who have joined us on this journey - we are sooo close to the end and our appreciation and gratitude for our amazing family and friends will never be forgotten.
My boy awaits me...I must go and take advantage of my cuddles and baby kisses...
night everyone and thanks again!