Day 18 - July 22, 2007

Sorry for only getting to this now - yesterday was a tough day - feeling extremely tired and emotionally drained - it is hard having to face fear in the face on a daily basis - we try our best to be positive and strong, but sometimes the feelings are overwhelming and they get the better of us...the overwhelming days often are the days where one of the babies takes a few steps back in their progress, or they are days that we anxiously await results back from X rays or ultrasounds. We recognize that this sense of fear and anxiety will continue well into our future - however, we hope that as we become more knowledgeable and the babies become more stable, we (or maybe I should refer to I - as Cris is coping quite well) - will become less anxious and overwhelmed by this sense of fear.

Shay took a few steps back yesterday. He had difficulties with his ventilator last night - it appeared that there was a leak in the ventilator causing his oxygen requirements to go up - they did an x ray and found that some of his aveloi had collapsed in his lungs (quite a common thing for preemies). They ended up reintubating him (changing the size of his oxygen tube) and hopefully he will catch up to where he was in the next few days.

We are also tracking some of the possible repercussions from Ciaran's episode two weeks ago on Saturday. It will be a long time before we are fully aware of the potential outcomes...that being said, the unknown is definitely scary... and one that creates a great deal of anxiety and emotions on a daily basis...

As I have mentioned, the past week has been absolutely exhausting. As a result, we have not been able to keep with with all of the phone calls. Please forgive us if we have not been able to get back to you... on the difficult days, we are trying to conserve our energy for the phone calls from our dear friends tend to lead to emotional releases quickly....and this release tends to be draining...I hope everyone understands and realizes how thankful we are for your interest and calls...

Anyhow, that is all for now...thank you again to all of our family and friends...the staff at the NICU have mentioned how lucky we are to have such a phenomenal network of people in our right they are!

love to all,
cris, liza, ciaran and shay


Cassandra said...

Hey there,

Stay strong. We are all praying for the boys. Remember that those little steps back only happen so that they can move forward again. Remember all the positives that have happened over the past 2 and 1/2 weeks.

Love you,

Lianne Summers said...

Get as much rest as you can under the circumstances. Everything feels more manageable after some sleep (or quiet time). I'm SO excited you were able to hold your babies: I sat and wept at my computer screen as I read your news. I LOVE the black and white photos of Ciaran and Shay. Beautiful!!
My prayers and thoughts are with you everyday.

Love Lianne xo

Anonymous said...

A very wise uncle of ours found solace in trusting in God, living one day at a time and savouring each moment. For his creed was the Serenity Prayer:

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change;
courage to change the things I can; and wisdom to know the difference.
Living one day at a time;
Enjoying one moment at a time;
Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
Taking, as He did, this sinful world as it is, not as I would have it;
Trusting that He will make all things right if I surrender to His Will;
That I may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Him
Forever in the next. Amen.

I hope you find comfort in the prayer. Know we are all with you.